Pubic hair on the soap. 10 rules for living with idiots.

I don't know about you and your kin but mine is a son of a B__ch. I guess with the blog being new and all i have to start at the beginning or else you won't have a clue of what made me decide to start this blog or what i am talking about a good deal of the time.

Well it started when i got old enough to recognize the fact that there were far more idiots than "regular" people. There were far more hypocrites and inconsiderate people inhabiting America than there were "benefits to society" at any given time. I think that thought coming to me at the young age of 11 changed my life. Some may say for the worst but i think its for the better. I always looked at it like this, if there is a crazy guy that you see everyday on the way to work standing on the corner speaking jibberish that you can't understand and then one day you go past and his jibberish sounds like, "hello James, have a nice day today at work today", you are crazy too now, so i am thankful that i can still recognize these little oddities in human behavior that this blog will be about. But today it's about idiot family and the idiot things they do. An idiot is a person who doesn't even need a verb to do something stupid.

I also have to mention that a few years back my longtime live-in girlfriends mother lost her house because she took out a loan at 18% interest on a house she only owed $2400 on. I would never call her Mom an idiot, thankfully i won't have to because that action speaks for itself. I was like, Ms. Blank (names have been changed to protect the idiots) Why not get a $1500 loan, take your mortgage and that loan and pay the house of and then get a loan at 6% interest? Of course she didn't listen because and i quote "you think you know everything!" I am use to that kind of thinking coming from my people. I guess this would be a good time to mention that i am black. My mother in law saw my recommendation as me trying to act white? I am mixed, as if it matters, so i have run across and lived with idiots of every race. The truth of the matter is there is no difference in idiot actions only how they are initiated. Maybe now you understand the reasons behind my need for this blog.

So anyway with that said, let me move on to my idiot gripe of the day...

...Pubic Hair on the soap. WTF kind of idiot leaves Pubic hair on the soap? I am not talking once, i am talking about every time they use the soap. I can't wrap my head around the type of individual that for 3 straight years would not notice that they are leaving pubic hair on the soap, soap that everyone in the house has to use. I guess this would be a good time to mention that when my Mother-in-law cam to stay with us for "a few months" back in early 2002 she brought a few of her homes residents along for the ride. They are all long time in-laws so we felt we couldn't leave them homeless, and what's a few months right? Thats what family is for. Well at this point i wish i could track down, dig up and re-kill whoever made that asinine phrase up. Family more times than not are the banes of a non-idiots existence. I wish i would have ran a background check on them even though i lived with them for decades growing up.

Every morning i come down to take my shower and have to be grossed out by Coochie or penis hair on my soap. The first thing i always wonder is did all my kids notice this before they washed up and went to school? I am sure they all don't use the soap provided by the management (me) but the thought of them washing their face with a soap with a pubic hair on it makes me a tiny bit ill to the stomach. I love my in-laws but they are a few levels under us in sophistication. Their main areas of interest seem to be sitting on the front porch drinking, smoking and waiting for the mail man and arguing. It took me a while to understand how they argue so much but i finally figured it out. They're idiots! They judge the winner of an argument not by evidence but by longevity and volume.

To any idiots reading this, here are a few rules of sharing space or anything.

1. Share.

2. No Pubic hairs on the soap.

3. No IOU's in the refrigerator. Only eat what is yours.

4. Flush the toilet. Not just this time but always.

5. When someone calls on the phone for someone other than you, do not force them into a 25 minute conversation with you before you will agree to get them who they want.

6. When visitors arrive (see #5) and also do not stand around 2 feet from the visitor and the person they are visiting conversation.

7. Do not borrow money from every visitor.

8. Do not borrow cigarettes from every visitor.

9. Do not eat, drink or use the first or last of someone else stuff. Oh yea...you idiots.

10. Residents have more rights than visitors.

If you can follow these rules, everyone may not notice that you are an idiot.

Well, i just wanted to touch bases with you guys and jott down a bit about what you can expect from this blog (me giving idiots the business 24/7/365) and if you happen to be doing an idiotic thing i may recieve an email with a picture of you attached so.....