Holiday season with the idiots.

I just spent thanksgiving in a house full of idiots. I didn't plan it that way but murphy's law kicked in and ...well lets just say the idiots followed him to my doorstep.

The day started as it always does in the land of the idiots, i woke up and waited for my turn in the bathroom. While i waited i was badgered into conversation after conversation about nothing, sort of like on Seinfeld but without the entertainment value. As anyone living with idiots can attest to, idiots travel in packs, each idiot responsible for the one or two things they are good at. One idiot to drive, one idiot to remember where they are going and others with similar duties. Well the group that spent the holiday at my house forgot to pickup the idiot that reminds the other idiots about manners and common decency.

If you have ever lived in house with a narcissist, obsessive compulsive idiot you know that there isn't a thing you can do within their sight that won't be stared at and copied, basically if you get a little more dressing they get a little more dressing, idiots hate to miss their turn at anything and everything they see or know exists is part theirs whether they bought it or not. An idiot that stays with you will eat like a puppy, until they burst, they have no interior warning device to warn them when they are full, they eat until there is no more to eat. They take breaks when physics prevent them from eating anymore but as soon as their stomach settles they are right back eating. They never wonder where the food comes from, i think they think the "fridge" is a magical box and food fairies fill it when they are asleep.

This thanksgiving we overcooked, 2 turkeys, 2 hams and Cornish hens. My house guests contributed this time surprisingly but no one opted to eat the raccoon they cooked up as a surprise. I repeat to the room in a joking manner that i am a city boy and i don't eat roadkill, my girlfriend mas angry that i was so ungracious until one of her idiot relatives explained to her that the raccoon was indeed road kill and all of a sudden she wasn't angry any more. No apology though but i understand. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Long story short i count it as a good gathering, nothing was broken and only one thing was stolen.

Our guests stayed until...the future because they are still downstairs sleeping in the front room. I hate idiots, i hate holidays and i dam sure hate holidays with idiots. I fear i am turning into an idiot my self for allowing this idiocy. Does anyone know if idiocy is contagious?